dinsdag 12 augustus 2014

DIARY OF THE MOST BELOVED DEATH 1 i want insight into her fate

1     3093 days, my Precious lived. Now she is 9 years dead. 100 days after she died, I noted down the following.
Darling, you take up my whole world of thought. 
You, who no longer exist as a terrestrial organism. You take up my whole world of thought. 
And all of my emotions involve you. And my body-movements are almost nil.
Is this because your physical existence has ended? While you remain approachable mentally and spiritually?
I am not sure where to focus. And I am not sure how to address. So I settle for just you, you who you are now.
One is when one is known by someone. I know you, so you are – and you know me, so I am.
So nice Darling, this way of talking, this is being with you.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



2     3093 days, my Precious lived. 120 days after she died, I noted down the following.
Did her dramatic trajectory find its definitive end? Or am I simply not able to grasp the transformation, 
that has been accomplished in her? Or am I not able to grasp it yet?
It is like a fairy tale, gathered from many mouths. It is like a fairy tale, set into motion by many tongues.

She is here, but only when I switch to our wavelength, I realize that I feel her – I register her presence.

Only now she is self-sufficient, independent, an individual; only now she is indissolubly fused with the she who she is.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)


3     3093 days, my Precious lived. 160 days after she died, I noted down the following.
I cannot hear in detail all she tells me.
Somtimes her messages are emotion-generating waves of meaning, flooding my inner world.
Are they mixing there, with what is already there? Bringing this and that to explode? 
With the concepts I now have at my disposal, I am not capable to derive certanties from experiences, that I cannot always divide 
in originating-from-the-interior or originating-from-the-exterior.

If I hear you well, you say that an entity is a cocktail of vitalities, different both in strength and in nature.
If I hear you well, you say that the individuality of an entity is separate from the terrestrial appearance – 
that the manifestation as terrestrial organism is one of the many expressions of the entity.
If I hear you well, you say that some entities last thousends of years – 
and the manifestation as terrestrial organism is just one of their many guises.
Ah thank you Darling, you lighten up my heavy head and you focus the weary muscles in my body. 

I want to have insight into her fate. Or to be able to create for myself a picture of her how and where. If this is possible.
This might be the clue: that her present how and where lies beyond the imagination. 
Or perhaps it is not human imagination that is failing here, but the human ability to represent. 
Or my imagination and my ability to represent. 
During the transport between these two, perhaps such a large number of hurdles have to be overcome, 
that  the cargo has rolled every which way before the endpoint is reached.
What would be a name for this unimaginable manifestation? She-dead? She-now? She-eternal?

If dying means breaking with the space-time continuum, and if time is a toy of the terrestrial psyche, then – I ask – 
could a conclusion be that she-dead, definitily loose, is precisely a physical manifestation?
Talk to me Darling, I'm listening.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



4     3093 days, my Precious lived. 180 days after she died, I noted down the following.
After death has taken a life, the earthly organism has done what it was meant to do.
The care one takes for the cleanup is both inspired by the delight this body has evoked and by something having to do 
with a process that has something to do with becoming whole; the becoming whole of the deceased.

The fact of the cosmos, that it is – the earth and the grass and the star are, an I and death are – is also difficult to comprehend.
But in reality it is naturally true that by the most profound self-knowledge one would come into the position of being able to unveil all!

'Home house – feel. Ear Baby are you listening? Can you hear the whisperings of the circle of the nineteenth?'
I am listening Darling. And what I am hearing is you telling me that the energy in which you are free is marked by your birthday.
Yes, that both the earth and the other planets take their time for each turn around the sun, can be observed.
And this can very well make the order in the energies. And so in the entities.
Thank you Darling, how big you are, how big you are!

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



5     3093 days, my Precious lived. 200 days after she died, I noted down the following.
What is vitalizing for each other has not stopped. I have contact with her as she is now – 
and this is very different from remembering who she was.
And I-now communicate with her-now and she-now communicates with me-now – 
also different, but not very different, than how I-then communicated with her-then or she-then communicated with me-then. 

What she-now no longer needs is nourishment for her terrestrial organism, although she appreciates a bowl of fresh water.
What does attract her-now is ambience, personal, that involves me, and of cultural pleasures, that she is familiar with (such as music). 
If there is a pleasant atmosphere she-now is present.
Also, there are activities that attract her, make her come nearer near me. I am still finding out exactly what activities, 
but knowing her, I recognize them quickly.
On second thought, it is the concentration with which I do what I do that might be most important. Yes, more important 
than what it is exactly that I do.
Heat and cold bother her if they effect my mood. So this also leads back to pleasant atmosphere.
And the sound of my voice-for-her reaches her too.

She-now is not the same as she-then.
When I remember her-then I remind her-now of her-then. Almost always this makes her sad.
But she-now likes it when she-now reminds me of us-then and I affirm this memory – 
yes Darling that was Kissin playing the music of Frédéric, and no doubt about it!
Oh how fragile this flower was, rooted in artificial earth; 
a cello sonata by Brahms sounded in her shadow and her nightsong followed the cords of a nocturne by Chopin.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



6     3093 days, my Precious lived. 210 days after she died, I noted down the following.
Her image as terrestrial volume has disappeared. Her footprints have disappeared. Her sensitivity to vibrations remained.
If I am concentrated I am my vibration and then she finds me, 
and so to me, being concentrated is turning into being together with my by now transparant Beloved.
And just as my vibration remains recognizable for her, so for me her vibration remains recognizable as totally she.
I see it, I feel it: the sweetest profile of the sweetest creature I know in this world.

The continuous earthly process of des-integration and re-integration of the three terrestrial components – nerve, blood and muscle – 
is slowly halting in her actuality.
Darling of Darlings, you are the trinity that I have contact with. We both know it, don't we my Precious?
The bond that used to also be a nerve-blood-muscle bond while she was alive, is turning into a pure concentration bond now that she is dead – 
and will be a pure concentration bond. 
The bond that used to also be a nerve-blood-muscle bond while she was alive, is turning into a pure know bond now that she is dead – 
and will be a pure know bond.

She is transformed into a transparant manifestation.
She is transparantly present and as such I see her, when I open my eyes wide.
Yes it is by my love that she-now is nourished. 
And because I can imagine that everyone who lived with love (and so lives with love) has a dialogue with a transparant presence, 
I can imagine the happiness that befalls everyone who lived with love (and so lives with love).

If I am concentrated I am my vibration. If I am my vibration I am my love.
Contact through love was nourishment for her-then – and is nourishment for her-now and will be nourishment for her-eternal.
And yes her physique-now is every bit as lovely and as beautiful as her earthly body was.
Yes my Most Precious, for ever everlasting.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



7     3093 days, my Precious lived. 260 days after she died, I noted down the following.
She just told me that the last operation, in which the fluid reservoirs in her stomach were removed, has not been an empty gesture;
she feels a lot more comfortable now.
Not that she still has her terrestrial body, but she still has access to its memory.
This is what she just told me

Now, she being dead, there are regions that I can visit, where we meet – 
where I can see her and feel her and speak to her. And every encounter is stimulating and fresh.
When she was alive she was often in a state one could call whole – integrated that is. And when she was whole, 
I could, by focusing on her, make myself whole for a moment. And now, she being dead, she is whole more often. 
And by focusing on her, I still can make myself whole for a moment. And when I am whole, I can communicate with her.
So now, she being dead, naturally it is easier when I am al-one.
I also noticed that if I tend to drift too far from being whole, she takes the initiative to visit me.

Yes my heart again was stuck Darling and with a jolt it tore loose and I was struck. So it all had to quiet quiet down, to again 
become one with the rhythm of the coming and going of the sun and the moon.
You have never been one for easy deals and – among other things – that is why I realize that now you are most you; 
only receptive to the real, wrapped please in a surprise package with more and more of all of the extras on top and on the side and over it.
Yes I know you and you know me.
Yes I hear your warning and will take it to heart.

For my happiness it is imperitive that I abide daily in the spheres that are more hers than this terrestrial sphere that is predominantly mine. 
To be able to do this makes me rich; it is at the center of my daily agenda.
It is also true that if I let myself be distracted, I sleep about two hours longer and still have less energy.
This terrestrial sphere is the domain of activity and her spheres are the domains of rest. 
But this terrestrial sphere is also the domain of fixation, while in her spheres mobility is the norm. 

She shows me a mystery, that at one time I treat with exuberant joy and at another time with timid awe.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)


8     3093 days, my Precious lived. 280 days after she died, I noted down the following.
No, she-now is not without form, on the contrary, she-now is more and more turning into a never changing form; 
her form is turning into who she-eternal is.
And because she-eternal is a constant also her form is more and more a constant. A consolidated form with an ever changing expression. 
Surprising. 
Yes she is a vibration at peace, because yes she is a known vibration.

I am aware of her, she is not aware of me; this is how self-sufficient she is. 
I am aware of her, for as long as I am a terrestrial organism. 
She is not aware of me, but she knows me and she watches over me.
After one has reached one`s terrestrial destination one no longer is aware. Being aware is an instrument 
with which one can arrive at one`s worldly identity. To afterwards again turn into a (known or unknown) energy.
She has no awareness but she is awareness, connected to my comprehension, 
that can only contain a fraction of the awareness that she is and is only a fraction of the comprehension that was hers during her lifetime; 
traveling through the spheres as she was able to, with access to the different memories.
As during her lifetime I still abide with her in spheres where, with her help, I have access to memories that differ from my small memory. 
Like the memory that stretches back to when the earth was one genetic lump. Or the cosmic memory. Or the memory in which all dissolves. 
With which I together with her coincide. At the same time we are in-with and out-from. 
And does it make sense? Naturally it makes sense, for our senses tell us that we are the sense.
Ah Utmost Precious, we never stopped being a superteam.

And, I notice, her memory for her terrestrial past is getting less and less, the longer she is dead. Yes Darling, good for you. But pain for me. 
For me crying and moaning and turning rigid. So I cry and moan and live through and live on.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)


9     3093 days, my Precious lived. 310 days after she died, I noted down the following.
She gave me my number – my lucky number. And she also told me what it takes for this number to remain valid until my last breath. Well, 
what more do I want? Nothing at all!
And so what does it take for this number to remain valid until my last breath? Well, 
that I accept that what is gone is gone and to focus my perception on what is.

She is awareness; an infinite supply that I can dispose of.
Stocks of unphysical sizes are superfluous stocks. Superfluous stocks are burdens.
The stock that she is, is absolutely fostering and so absolutely physical!

Oh Darling, time and time again you make me shy with your downright intimicy.
And even though I sometimes miss the tranquillity, yet you kiss me. And how happy this makes me, how happy this makes me!
Thank you, thank you my Utmost Delight.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



10    3093 days, my Precious lived. 350 days after she died, I noted down the following.
This absolutely mysterious, miracle-revelatory visitation lasting a lifetime.

Although my Precious is dead, my love for my Precious is – my love is and my love will be.
I repeat: did one experience Love then one experiences Love and one will experience Love.
I repeat: Love operates from parts of the cosmos in which neither time nor place are factors. 

To see an organism grow is an experience of happiness.
To only want to see an organism ready and done is perverse; it stems from unnatural concepts of being-alive and being-dead, 
in which there is a norm for 'being fullgrown'.

She is an energy, that for me got its features when her terrestrial manifestation visited me.
And her terrestrial manifestation was the perfect manifestation – from A to Z – of this energy, that had been anticipated by me, 
for which I pined, now is known by me and again turned into energy without an organic body.
For me the energy got its form by covering in time and space a dramatic trajectory. And by doing so, it became knowable.
But the trajectory is not the energy and the energy existed before and will exist after. 

One burns the dead body, but the energy that made use of this body to move through the terrestrial sphere has already left.
That is why the body is called lifeless or dead, exactly because the energy has left it.

The she who she is being an energy that is determined, makes that the form of this energy is determined.
I repeat: where she-now dwells, her eternal form will be more and more constant her form.

If a bond is a bond between love and love, every little part of the beloved is fully this energy that is loved.
Love also implies that one accepts all of the beloved, meaning one also accepts that the beloved is dead.
On earth Love exists in the awareness that no matter how the beloved manifest themselves, it always means riches in well-being.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



11    3093 days, my Precious lived. 370 days after she died, I noted down the following.
The wonder about the miracle is dimming. The cautious scannings and the anxious suppositions of total vanishing have almost disappeared.
Sweet Spicy Darling, we are simply near each other, and we will simply be near each other.
Yes you already told me when you gave me my lucky number, but it slipped by me again.

Sometimes she is present as a chambercloud that is simply here.
Often she lies near me, as she lay. Very rarely she lies on top of me.
Sometimes she sits facing me, on the floor, on a spot – always the same – where she never sat before. This is in our room.
In the other rooms of the house she does not choose a fixed position, but I have to look around a moment to see where she is sitting – 
also mostly on the floor.
Often she walks along with me. Very rarely she floats in front of me, leading the way.
Very rarely she gives me a kiss. More often – surprisingly – she gives me a nose.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



12    3093 days, my Precious lived. 410 days after she died, I noted down the following.
My Darling no longer leaves any traces, but all traces lead to my Darling.
You are everywhere Darling, and that is where my concentration should be. Not as it it now, focused on one point, with circles around it.
From an all-focus I must be the one point. A point with hazy contours; lots of water, lots of air, a little earth and a little fire 

What remains out of my reach of her present transparant manifestation also remained out of my reach of her terrestrial manifestation: 
the mystery of the other, which cannot be appropriated, you know don`t you Darling?
Yes this is how it is!

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



13    3093 days my Precious has lived. When she had been dead for 420 days, I noted down the following.
It was a Wednesday – the evening I climbed the white mountain – when she disappeared as doglady and appeared as humangirl.
With – to my surprise – a between-moment as humanboy. This was quiete weird.
And also the next few evenings – of the days when I did not see the sun – I hardly could get used to the sight of her sitting on a chair opposite me, 
her legs swinging and swaying – not bored, rather awkwardly, it seemed.
Too awkward Darling, I said, horror days, be the ladydog I know and love and am faithful to, I said. As gorgeous as you were you remain you, so all. 
This is what I asked her and she reponds – with great joy – and – with great emotions – we again are we.

Yes it seems that entities become identities by going through the terrestrial existance. 
And that they become identities at peace when they have been nourished by a love-bond.
And then dead, and fully developed in their identity, developing nevertheless; not in the sense of  developing towards an identity 
but developing in their ability to give a richer, more detailed and a more varied expression to their specific energy.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



14    3093 days, my Precious lived. 450 days after she died, I noted down the following.
My Precious is not handled by strange hands after she departed. Although strange hands gave a hand to help her to depart, 
as they helped her to arrive.
The deceased partakes in what those who are left behind do with the organic residues. And experiences these actions 
as either a confirmation or a denial of the life they have lived together. 
And this experience is the first of this new situation, determining the relationship that will follow. Because nothing that is of this earth 
is alien to the dead.
Thank you Darling, I hear you.

Depending on the entity, there are lesser and better passage locations. To arrive, to depart – 
to start breathing, to stop breathing. And to switch spheres while one keeps on breathing. 
Open channels with the transparant spheres. Yes here where I am sitting, is a very good passage location. For her. For me.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)


15    3093 days, my Precious lived. 490 days after she died, I noted down the following.
When I am not wholly present, you are not wholly present. That's logical, yes it is my Darling!
Only when I exist in my truth can she be perceived by me. Yes only when I switch to our wavelenght I register her presence.
Yes that's how it is Honey, that's how it is.
Not only the truth of here but the truth of there too, you can handle all by yourself four times over, can't you Darling.

Omnipresent between her and me is not what one knows, but how one knows.
What one knows lies in the area of the I-self relationship and how one knows lies in the area of the I-you relationship.
The dead one is a loosened heart. Either beloved and known and loosely-bound 
or not beloved and not known and wandering.

Through Love she is a happy dead one. Through the interaction with a happy dead one I have more peace in my heart.
Yes Utmost Delicious Darling, your heart is free, with love close to me.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



16    3093 days, my Precious lived. 520 days after she died, I noted down the following.
Sunny clear blue – say Greek.
Houses along a wooden sidewalk; a quay, partly overhanging the sea.
My Darling falls into the water and I dive after her.
She sinks fast, but a protruding rock catches her.
I turn in my dive.
She has – through the water – a white shine.
She looks at me and the moment I make a start to dive deeper to where she is sitting, she makes – still looking at me – 
a movement by which the protrusion breaks off.
Instantaneously I decide to let her go; a decision inspired by a mix of several factors:
her independency – as if she foresaw the result of her movement
plus the caisson effect, I will have to deal with if I would venture deeper
plus somewhere the realization that anyway anyhow I shall have to return empty handed and that by now, I just have enough air left 
to return to the surface.


17    3093 days, my Precious lived. 560 days after she died, I noted down the following.
Although a big sadness kept me going over the past 560 days and nights, 
over the past year together we had at least seven times fifty fine days. Naturally. Even more. And for each coming year 
we will definitely have seven times fifty nice days. Without a doubt. 
But whether we will make it to the year 2050 or not, doesn't bother us at all, now does it Utmost Beauty!

Nowadays, the days that she took up my whole world of thought are past. 
But all of my emotions still involve her. And my body-movements, nowadays, are just above nil.
Because, Utmost Soft One, this and that is clear to me now. I have experienced, felt, thought – you know the little list. And we don't need 
to practice compulsive magic to stay in touch; most of the time we simply are in touch. Simply.
Yes I already mentioned it, we simply are near each other, and we simply will be near each other.

Hmmm Utmost Sweet One, again and again you make me whole, I am so fond of you!


(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



18    3093 days, my Precious lived. 2010 days after she died, I noted down the following.
I hear what you tell me Darling. That you are not your life. That your life is not you. You had to live your life. 
That role had to roll. That scenario had to start from the beginning and come to the end. Improvising with what was at hand in the situation.
As such also to you, life has been a shackle. In which you were shackled. And now you are you. Absolutely free. With love close to me.

She has not forgotten her terrestrial physique. It is still an expression of who she-now is. 
I have not forgotten her terrestrial physique. I not only feel it in me, I register the physical presence – hers, known to me – 
every day as something from outside.
And no, I am not talking about a projection through my mental capacities. I am talking about a touchable volume. 
Who likes to be petted. Who likes to be talked to. Likes getting delicacies to eat. Likes getting fresh clean water to drink.
And you are getting it too, don't you Darling, for 2010 days now – give or take a day.
And before, all 3093 days too.

Everything you wish to experience interests me Darling. To you experience is restoring connections. And anyway, 

is not restoring connections a very good definition of experience? 
I think it is!
She-now takes up a variable physical space – this I noticed. Some days she easily takes on a large empty room – even needs a large empty room. 
For me there remains a small corner. A nice corner in which I feel privileged.
For large or small, always I find it delightful. To approach you and greet you intimately a couple of times 
a few times each day. To touch the center of your presence a couple of times 
a few times each day. 
Yes you bet, that I find this delightful.

It is simply true Darling: I don't believe; I experience – you don't believe, you experience – we don't believe; we experience.


(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



19    3093 days, my Precious lived. 2020 days after she died, I noted down the following.
Sweet Sweet Sweet Darling, a few more days and you will be here again for the fourteenth time.
I participate in it, Utmost Sweet One. A little part. Not all is clear yet, but it becomes clearer and clearer.
Fresh Fresh Fresh Flower. I was forty and two years plus four months minus four days, when I first saw you and felt you. And you 
were three weeks and two days.
And until that day, when I was forty plus two plus four minus four, I was a complete ignoramus. Yes I was.

Yes Great Great Great Love, now that you have been dead for five years and six months, you and I can still count on each other. 

Naturally and self-evidently.
But, also naturally and self-evidently, you only find me if I know where I am.
Yes Darling, that is how it was, that is how it continues!

And another thing I already mentioned: where I live is a good passage location. Here one can bring along ghosts that are familiar. Because here, 
there is space for ghosts that are familiar. Because due to the loving care of the dead, there hardly are any wandering ghosts. 
And so there hardly is any history. 
Written history is called into existance – and then exists – where the dead are not nourished through a love contact 
with the ones left behind. The unbound, wandering, restless ghosts are the ones 
who instigate the writing of history books – and of many novels.

I feel, I feel, what you are feeling Darling.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



20    3093 days, my Precious lived. 2380 days after she died, I noted down the following.
Dozing and drifting, is how you accomplished your dramatic trajectory. And your dramatic trajectory has ended; now 
you are free from life. We already go about it in a different way and we will continue to do so.
Only occasionally dozing and drifting – very occasionally, like sort of a whim of nostalgia. 
Until you will be past that too and so we will be past that. And so it will be past for us.
This is what I feel, that now – after being dead for six and a half years – your life is over. 
That you-now constantly operate from the energy that is utmost you.

Curls she-now has. Just for this moment; to amuse herself – to brighten up this festive day. 

You don't just give away your jewels. And how right you are – even if your stock is inexhaustible; 
each jewel unique and priceless precious.
I must be clean. To be worthy of your gift – to honor your gift.
Yes Utmost Delight, you are so right.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



21    3093 days, my Precious lived. 2550 days after she died, I noted down the following.
You my Darling are outside and inside. You my Darling are outermost outside. You my Darling are innermost inside.

Now is ordinary – but therefore no less extraordinary – that you are with me constantly. 

And so it is ordinary – but therefore no less extraordinary – that Love is continuously present. 
I am one with your presence. I am one with the presence of Love.

Is your inside your outside? Yes no doubt, your inside is your outside. Is your outside your inside? Yes no doubt, your outside is your inside.


(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)



22    3093 days, my Precious lived. 3093 days after she died, I noted down the following.
The life that would be yours had its circumstances – and no doubt these circumstances were a restriction to your nature.
By not fighting these circumstances – it always being a sham battle anyway – you showed – for example – your spritual nobility.
This is how I see it Darling.

Bit by bit you have given me to understand. That the way you go now, is the way of the sun and the moon. 

The way of the autonomous incentive.
Together we ramble through the regions, where also the trees like to meet. Together we ramble through the regions, where the bulls 
celebrate their victory. The blood flows slowly and is cold. Clouds play with sweet-air eagles.
Bit by bit you have given me to understand. That the way I must go, is the way of the sun to the source. 
The way of the guided incentive. 
With relaxed limbs we glide along on the morning light. My head in the garland of flowers she gives me at night. Gliding without brakes. 
Yes here we go Darling. Time and the world flying by us. We salute and shout "if you want to come with us there is room enough 
for  both of you". Together we succumb to the delights, because the way back to the base is always open to us. Oh 
how we are in our element in the room of relaxation. Yes here we go Darling. We don't need a flying machine to fly with the swallow. 
We don't need a shuffling machine to shuffle with the turtle. We don't need a sneaking machine to sneak with the panther.
Bit by bit you have given me to understand. That the way that is life, is a way on which going on and going back 
continuously imperceptibly interchange. 
The way of the pointing incentive.
Every morning our aspiration is to float about hither and thither seven times or more before we get up. If it suits us 
we bring back a souvenir. If not – what is increasingly the case – then not.

An ongoing vitality for the Darling who guides me. By now she is not of this earth, in that she is happy that she  is no longer required 
to comply to the characteristics – behavior, impulses, needs, and so on – of her terrestrial form.
Isn' that right Darling? Yes it is. And no need to, no need at all. Not to the characteristics of your terrestrial form. Not 
to the characteristics of any terrestrial form.

How are the dead being welcomed by the dead? Without any fuss. 
What are the meaningfull relationships? The circle of the vibration. Inside the circle 
the loved ones with the loved ones, the ones at peace with the ones at peace, the wandering ones with the wandering ones. 
Until the wandering ones are adopted – and so will have the opportunity to turn into loved ones. Ditto for the not-yet-free ones.
No Darling, to this last circle you don't belong. You are loose; your heart is free, with love close to me.

Nowadays we – my Precious and I – associate in a place, 
where there is a voice but no sound, a contour but no image, tears but no sorrow.

(No one has to believe that what I note down here is the truth, but every one must believe that what I note down here is how I experienced it; how I have taken it in and how I take it as the truth.)




© mc 2002-2014





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